Kansas Senior Press Service Weekly Newsletters Kansas Senior Press Service Weekly Newsletters Excerpted from an article by Cheryl Smith, MA
Kansas Senior Press Service
You are managing your time pretty well, but there are activities you would like to add to your schedule, like a yoga class or a new hobby, and you just can’t juggle one more thing.
Then something happens that is about to add a huge responsibility to your already overloaded schedule: a crisis with an elderly parent or relative. The crisis might involve a parent falling and breaking a hip, rear-ending another driver, getting pneumonia, or wandering away and being unable to find the way home.
How do you enjoy your time with your parents without frustrating arguments and exhausting power struggles? How do you find the time to add one more thing to a schedule that is already full? How do you take time away from running your business, working your job or taking care of your own children? You are determined to take care of your parents as they took care of you, but how?
Feeling overwhelmed or giving in to a meltdown is not the only alternative. With more than 80 percent of elder care provided by family members (an average of 71 hours per week), geriatric experts known as “professional care managers” have emerged to help.
A professional perspective
When faced with helping your aging parents make decisions about their future, making sense of the information and wading through the options can be frustrating. Getting an outside perspective from a geriatric care manager can help assess your parent's needs, identify things you may not have considered and create a care plan with options and recommendations.
As specialists with extensive education and experience in elder care, geriatric care managers are skilled at assessing the level of help seniors need, determining changes that should be implemented now or in the future, and scheduling care services. Care managers can also identify community resources, monitor needs, and be an ongoing source of information.
Sidestep complicated family dynamics
If you’re frustrated by talking to a parent about closing off the upstairs to prevent falls, installing bath safety equipment, giving up the car keys or wearing an ID bracelet for walks around the block, you’re not alone. Elderly parents often find it humiliating to transition to receiving advice, direction or physical care from their own children. But a professional outsider can step up to the plate and do it with panache.
A professional starts with a level playing field that creates a feeling of equality for the elderly, who may feel more comfortable speaking of sensitive areas with someone outside of traditional family dynamics. At the very least, the elderly are more likely to accept suggestions from a third party with a listening ear. To your benefit, the geriatric care manager will present a view to your parent that is unbiased by your personal stress, emotionally charged worry and unconscious agendas.
When Kansas City business owner Betsy Stewart’s elderly dad suffered a stroke two years ago and returned to his home, she worried about his safety. But when she tried to talk to him about it or make suggestions, he brushed off her concerns.
“To him, I was just his child and not someone he was going to take advice from,” said Stewart.
So she sought the help of a geriatric care manager and was amazed at the difference.
“Having an outsider be the one to make recommendations and talk to my dad about potential safety issues was instrumental in getting my dad to cooperate,” Stewart said. “The care manager built trust and established a rapport with him and got him laughing right off the bat. By the end, he trusted her judgment and cooperated with all her recommendations. Additionally, the care manager pointed things out to me that I hadn’t thought about, such as potential safety hazards in the home, and provided information on valuable resources.”
Delegate to the experts
Just as you might delegate tasks at home or work to those with proven expertise, take the same approach when it comes to determining a plan for your parent’s future. Seek expertise from a professional and you’ll know that you’re getting information you can count on while avoiding costly mistakes from trying to figure it out on your own.
With a geriatric care manager, you’ll get inside knowledge on local facilities, in-home services, finding medical equipment and supplies, and unadvertised benefits from associations both local (Alzheimer’s associations) or national (veterans associations).
Most of all, the care manager’s encouraging support will allow you to continue the routine of your daily life while staying fully involved with your parent. With a geriatric care manager, your time with Mom or Dad becomes bonding time, not time trying to haggle over what to do next. Whether you need help for a day, a few months, or a few years, let decisions about the care of the people you love most be guided by someone who has been there.
For a reasonable hourly fee, a geriatric care manager can show you a world of options. Their professional suggestions are based on broad experience, understanding of geriatric issues, and, most of all, the needs of your ailing parent.
When to seek help
If you are asking yourself the following questions, a geriatric care manager might be the answer:
• Are my parents safe in their home?
• Are bills being paid on time?
• Should my parents be driving?
• Are my parents’ health concerns taking me away from my family?
• Are the problems my parents are facing becoming larger and more complex than I can comfortably manage?
• What kind of help would increase safety while maintaining my parents’ dignity and independence?
• What kinds of assistance can my parents afford?
• What local resources might benefit my parents?
(Adapted from the National Association of Professional Geriatric Care Managers.)
Find a geriatric care manager
Visit the National Association of Professional Geriatric Care Managers Web site for a searchable database of reputable national care managers: www.caremanager.org.
Cheryl Smith is a gerontologist and the president of Kansas City Home Care, Inc. She is a member of the National Association of Professional Geriatric Care Managers. For more information, call 913-341-4800 or visit www.kchomecare.com.
By Lynn Anderson
Kansas Senior Press Service
With the grass greening up, trees sporting lime-colored buds, and daffodils dressed in green leaves, it’s a great time to talk about matters green — including issues about the environment.
A great place to start is with the city of Westwood Hills, Kan., and its mayor, Allen Roth. Roth, an environmental architect, has both skills and sensibilities when it comes to the environment, and he is putting those to work. The center of his focus is dissemination of helpful information about practices everyone can use to deal with climate change and energy conservation.
Roth’s program is titled GREEN Initiative: Growing and Recognizing Environmentally Effective Neighborhoods. The nonprofit’s mission is to inform and educate residents about ways to reduce energy consumption with the goal of reducing total carbon emissions in our neighborhoods and cities.
A website is in the works. Once it’s active, all residents will be able to download a newsletter containing helpful tips. The site is not yet active, so watch Kansas Senior Press Service for an announcement.
“I began the GREEN Initiative last summer, as an outgrowth of interest shown by individuals in my city of Westwood Hills,” Roth said. “We worked through our Westwood Hills Foundation, presenting the idea that green ‘citizenship’ starts at home. I decided that if individuals in my city showed that kind of interest, I could do my part to promote that thinking to the broader community.”
Roth’s concept is to promote and distribute environmental information and practices to municipalities for distribution to their residents. He hopes that the information he circulates will be used by neighborhood organizations and city environmental or sustainability committees, as well.
Here is some information that the GREEN Initiative has already shared.
Maintaining your lawn equipment
Lawn-mowing season is here. Did you know that one hour of mowing with a gas-powered mower emits as much pollution as driving a car 200 miles? That’s the equivalent of driving from Kansas City to Wichita! Change oil and air filters regularly to keep your motor running smoothly and emit fewer pollutants. Sharpen your blades after every 10 hours of use. A dull blade shreds the ends of the grass, causing them to dry out and appear whitish. A clean cut prevents disease pathogens from infecting the grass and gives a healthy appearance to the lawn.
Trying your hand at composting
Compost, which is simply decayed organic matter, is an excellent soil conditioner. Making compost is easy, fun and a great way to improve your soil while reducing the amount of waste that goes into the landfill. Common materials for compost include kitchen scraps, leaves and yard and garden waste. Here are two excellent online resources about composting:
Easy homeowner energy tips
Lighting
Heating and cooling
Saving with compact fluorescent lamps
Realize big savings by switching from incandescent light bulbs to compact fluorescent lamps (CFLs). With an incandescent bulb, 90 percent of the energy is wasted as heat while only 10 percent is converted to light. CFLs use about one-fourth as much electricity, and last 10 times longer, than incandescent bulbs, which you won’t have to replace for about five years. The EPA estimates that a typical household could save $80 each year by switching to CFLs throughout the house.
HUMOR
Golf: A Tiger tale
By Graham Porter
Kansas Senior Press Service
I’m hardly as young as I once was, but I prefer not to go into detail on the matter of aging, particularly as it relates to how far I’m now able to drive a golf ball.
After a recent game, never was I so humiliated! After I posted my score on the pro-shop computer for handicap purposes, almost immediately a loud voice emerged that I suspected could be heard throughout the club: “You must have entered a wrong number. This computer does not accept scores that high.”
After sneaking out of the crowded pro-shop, I drove home, embarrassed and discouraged, as I recalled having tried a variety of health supplements that had arrived in the mail over the course of several weeks. Not one had lived up to its promise of returning me to my younger, stronger self. More than anything else, I wanted that promise fulfilled so that, at the envy of my opponents, I again could smash long drives down the fairways.
Yes, for several months now, the overburdened postman had delivered messages that guaranteed all sort of miraculous health results, but to no avail. Here’s one I remember:
“Forget what you eat. Forget all exercises. Forget about vitamins, minerals, all sorts of supplements! Now break all the rules and look – feel – perform – like you’re only 35 years old — at 55, 65, 75, and beyond!”
Grabbing my wife’s cell phone, I had quickly placed my order for that proposed supplement. When it arrived by requested express mail, I snatched it from the startled postman’s hands and immediately launched into a pill-eating program. After a few weeks, I assumed I must have failed to comply with the regimen. I remained tired, old and frustrated.
With each passing day, the postman’s back grew more hunched from the load he was forced to bring my way. Again and again I would open a promise of rejuvenation beyond belief — but, unfortunately, not beyond my belief.
I kept trying to discover the supplement that would allow me to drive the golf ball as I used to.
“Frustrated at how your body is growing weaker?” the next solicitation began. “Try our product for one week. You’ll be amazed at the results.”
Yes, I was amazed. The result was zero. But did that discourage me? If George Washington had given up, he would never have made it across the Delaware. Day after day, I opened envelopes.
“There’s never been anything like it – an astonishing natural discovery – super strength – unlimited energy – soon the young women you pass on the street will give you the eye.”
Yes, I did try the product, but it failed to state whether the glances of those young women would be of admiration or — well, I prefer not to use the word. In my confusion, I also accidentally ordered some Magic Menopause tablets. However, I promptly returned them. Surely at best, they could only have added a few yards to my drive.
But now I was set to play again. I had lucked onto the one miraculous supplement that would most definitely improve my golf game. It promised renewed bodily rhythm and strength, and mental relaxation, as well. At last, the day was at hand.
Relax!, I ordered myself an hour or so before I was scheduled to meet my golfing buddies, not wanting to feel the tension I usually felt on the first tee. Although this miracle supplement suggested taking only a single pill, it did not say I should check with my doctor if I wanted to take more. For that reason, I swallowed two more pills — or maybe three — or was it four? Fortunately, that proved to be a wise decision.
It wasn’t long before I was standing on the first tee with the other members of my regular foursome. Hadn’t I at last discovered a supplement that exceeded its promise? Never had I felt stronger and more relaxed. To everyone’s amazement, I began hitting the ball as never before, easily outdistancing the others.
“Wow!” they kept shouting in disbelief. “You’re hitting it almost as far as Tiger Woods!”
I was modestly tipping my cap in response to those compliments when I was surprised to hear a familiar woman’s voice.
“Wake up, Honey. You’re going to be late for your golf game. And why were you smiling in your sleep?”
When reality came into focus, I wiped a tear from my eye and whispered to my wife, “Tell the guys I can’t join them today. I’ve already got a game.”
Slowly I returned to the golf course of my dream. To my surprise, sitting on a bench beside the first tee was a rather lonesome-looking young man.
“Would you care to join me?” I asked. “I’m going to be playing alone.”
“Thanks. I really appreciate that.”
“Go ahead,” I suggested to the nice young man. “You shoot first.”
His silent response was an extremely long shot down the middle of the fairway.
Turning to me with a well-deserved smile, he said, “OK, sir, you’re next.”
A bit nervously, I teed up my ball, then swung. He acted as if the sky had fallen in.
“I’ve never seen a drive go that far,” he finally managed. “Never!”
Nodding my head in genuine appreciation, I noted a look of defeated sadness on his face. As a true gentleman, I gave him a consoling pat on the back.
“I’m sorry I out-drove you so far. Really I am, Tiger.”
For some reason, he remained silent.
“Yes, I know you’re sorry,” he managed at last, “but because you’re a true gentleman, may I make a suggestion?”
“Of course, Tiger.”
For a moment he hesitated, then said, “Maybe you should tell your wife it’s time to wake you up again.”
Graham Porter is an artist and writer who lives in Prairie Village. He is 90 years old.
These articles are also available electronically at the Center on Aging Website: http://www2.kumc.edu/coa/Senior_Press_Article/Topic_Index.htm