Kansas Senior Press Service Weekly Newsletters Kansas Senior Press Service Weekly Newsletters By: Cathy Pendleton
Kansas Senior Press Service
“Thank you so much for this group. You saved my life,” the woman said as she walked out the door.
I thanked her and said that I was glad she had found the group helpful.
“No, I mean it literally,” she said. “I want you to hear that you saved my life.”
This woman had just participated in a “Supporting the Supporters” group, a program offering sustenance and teaching skills for family and friends managing the ups and downs of being a caregiver—a supporter of a loved one living with a serious or chronic illness or condition.
Her words have stayed with me. She was one of more than 44.5 million men and women who have heard the words, “Your daughter has cancer,” “Your husband has Alzheimer’s disease,” or “Your mom has had another stroke and she won’t be able to care for herself.”
If you are a primary support person for a family member or friend, you know what I’m talking about. The instant you hear any of those words, life has changed. You’re thrown into a world of hectic schedules, trips to the doctor, time off from work, financial strain, and role changes. You can’t believe what is happening and you may feel emotions with an intensity you’ve never known before: Shock, anger, sadness, confusion, embarrassment, guilt, loneliness, and a sense of isolation.
Support people often feel helpless because they don’t know where to turn, they’re angry that life has changed so much, and they’re scared that things are going to get worse before they get better—or that they’re not going to get better at all. They may feel sad that the person they love is becoming someone they don’t even recognize and there’s nothing they can do about it. They’re often tired and frustrated, and typically put themselves last on their list of priorities.
As one caregiver said, “My husband is the one with Parkinson’s and I’m the one who ends up in the hospital!”
They often feel alone and may become so exhausted that they just “want this all to be over”—and then they feel guilty for feeling that.
Remember that painful feelings—yes, even anger and resentment—are just there to alert you that something in your life needs attention. The feelings don’t mean that you’re a bad person or that you’re going crazy (although sometimes it can feel like that!). They do mean that something needs to change. It may be helpful to consider the following:
For many of us, being a support person has great rewards. You know that you’re making a difference in someone’s life, you get the chance to give back to someone you love, you feel as though your life has meaning. But it’s extremely important that you don’t “go it alone.” So, if you are a primary support person for your spouse, family member, friend, or the person who lives down the street, please refer to the resources below to find services for practical and emotional support. Help and hope are just a phone call away.
Caregivers may find more help and resources by contacting their local Area Agency on Aging. Call the Eldercare Locator hotline, 800-677-1116, to locate an aging office in Kansas or throughout the United States.
Cathy Pendleton is director of adult programs at Turning Point: The Center for Hope and Healing, and a member of the Kansas City Partnership for Caregivers. She lives in Prairie Village, Kan.
<Sidebar>
Helpful resources for caregivers of older adults
Kansas Department on Aging
www.agingkansas.org
800-432-3535
Family Caregiver Alliance
www.caregiver.org
800-445-8106
National Family Caregiver Association
www.thefamilycaregiver.org
800-896-3650
National Alliance for Caregiving
www.caregiving.org
Strength for Caring (hosted by Johnson & Johnson)
www.strengthforcaring.com
By: Carol Roeder-Esser
Kansas Senior Press Service
Many people believe that mental illnesses are rare. In reality, mental disorders are very common. An estimated 26 percent of Americans 18 and older suffer from a diagnosable mental disorder in any given year. That is almost 58 million people. In addition, 7.5 million youths under 18 have a mental, behavioral, or developmental disorder. Furthermore, nearly 45 percent of people with a mental disorder meet the criteria for two or more disorders.
Mental health addresses how we think, feel, and act as we cope with the ups and downs of life. It also looks at things like how we handle stress, how we behave in relationships with other people, and the choices we make. Everyone feels worried, sad, or depressed sometimes. But those who have a mental illness may have difficulty coping with their emotions.
In addition, the feelings and behaviors of people with mental illness may be severe enough that they interfere with the ordinary demands of daily life. Such basic tasks as bathing, doing laundry, or preparing food may seem overwhelming. People with mental illness may have conflicts with family and friends or be unable to maintain relationships. They may also find that they have trouble with work responsibilities.
The most common mental health disorders are:
Mood disorders. These disorders affect how a person feels. They include mild to major depression and symptoms of both depression and mania (known as bipolar disorder). Nearly 21 million American adults will have a mood disorder in any given year.
Anxiety disorders. These disorders are characterized by general anxiety, symptoms of panic, phobias (such as a fear of snakes or flying), and post-traumatic stress disorder, or PTSD (which often arises after a person has experienced a traumatic event). Approximately 40 million Americans have an anxiety disorder. Of those, around seven million have general feelings of anxiety, six million have panic disorder, nearly eight million have PTSD, and 19 million have a phobia that causes them to fear or avoid a specific object or situation.
Psychotic disorders. These disorders affect people’s sense of reality and may cause them to have delusions or hallucinations. Schizophrenia fits in this category, and it affects approximately 2.4 million Americans.
The following warning signs and symptoms might indicate the presence of a mental illness. If they are present, the person should be evaluated by a medical or mental health professional.
If you or someone you know may have a mental illness, it is important to remember that there is hope and help.
When people seek mental health services, they will be asked to participate in developing a treatment plan. The plan may include psychotherapy, medication, group or family counseling, community support services, or vocational services.
The treatment success rate for mental health disorders is very high! The key factor is the individual’s ability to follow the treatment plan. Don’t suffer needlessly. With proper care and treatment, many individuals learn to cope or recover from a mental illness.
For more information contact the Association of Community Mental Health Centers of Kansas at 785-234-4773.
Carol Roeder-Esser, LSCSW, is a program specialist with the JohnsonCountyMentalHealthCenter.
By: Juliana Harris
Kansas Senior Press Service
If you’re like me, the library is not a strange place. When I was a child, the library was my second home. My parents and I went together as a family every Saturday, and by the time I was 9, I had read every book in the children’s room and was working my way through the young-adult section. This formed a habit that has followed me wherever I’ve lived.
The library is, of course, an excellent source of books. I have often said that if I bought every book I wanted to read, I wouldn’t have room in my house for anything else! I seldom buy a book unless it has been written by a friend or I’m purchasing it as a gift.
When I read the latest book reviews and see something that catches my fancy, I go online and place a hold for it at my local library. There may be one or two people ahead of me on the waiting list, but I’m in no rush.
And how about videos and DVDs? The same rule applies, although the wait period may be a tad longer. Still, it’s the least expensive way I know of to see the latest movies, not to mention having your choice from the collection of classic films available at most libraries. All this is available at the click of a mouse!
And while we’re on the subject of computers, don’t forget that most libraries have them available for public use. Libraries also offer computer classes and have knowledgeable staff standing by to answer your questions. And don’t forget that while you’re traveling, you can pop into any library along the way and check your e-mail.
Did you know you could check out magazines at the library? Many people aren’t aware of this. Why pay for a subscription to a pricey magazine when the library offers a wide array of periodicals just waiting to be picked up for a rainy Saturday afternoon.
Many libraries offer excellent programs year-round, with something of interest to almost everyone. Contact your library to be placed on mailing lists. And if you’re new to your community, think about contacting your library to see what they offer or how you can help them out and support their work. This is an excellent way to become involved and meet new people—and that goes for those of you who are longtime residents. Volunteers are always needed!
Juliana Harris is an actress/singer/writer who formerly lived in Kansas City and has moved to Connecticut to be near family.
These articles are also available electronically at the Center on Aging Website: http://www2.kumc.edu/coa/Senior_Press_Article/Topic_Index.htm